Another Communiqué from the planet Neptune

Vincent J. Curtis

28 May 21

RE: Social Media and the attack on civic imagination.  Hamilton Spectator of today’s date.

“Shhhhh,” hissed the radio.

“Quiet everyone!” shouted the editor.

A communiqué from the planet Neptune was coming in.  Call sign “One Trick Pony,” the Neptune bureau chief, was sending.

As usual, the message was garbled and came across as confused nonsense.  In his Sunday sermon, some preacher explained in uncomfortable detail the findings of his deep and extensive research on the cat-house at the edge of town.  Things went on there that no decent person had ever seen or heard of.  It all sounded nonsensical, and some in the congregation were convinced that the preacher had been smoking the wrong kind of tobacco, so outlandish were his descriptions.

Racist, anti-government, and Trump-based lies were practiced everywhere.  But this was more than an assault on facts, evidence, and truth, ladies and gentlemen; no, a Fox News, Breitbart, Newsmax, OAN, and other toxic cultural appropriators were representing a new front in the war to use social media to (gulp!) depoliticize people!  They would discredit critics who would oppose blue supremacy and authoritarian nationalism!  And we all want authoritarian nationalism, don’t we people!

The preacher then demonstrated the depth of his research by revealing that he read The Stormer and watched (gulp!) Tucker Carlson!

The editor had heard enough, and ordered the young reporters out of the room, so indecent had the reporting become.  After another half-hour of intense listening, the communiqué ended and the smirking, somewhat disheveled  editor said “I could use some of that!”

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