Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Hang Him for Headlines



Vincent J. Curtis

15 Nov 2016


It used to be the left that thought it had a monopoly on subversive satire.  The left could make scurrilous attacks on figures of the right, make fun of its political opponents, and it was the right that was supposed to take the vicious attacks silently.  Even accept it as humorous, sometimes.  It would be contrary to the left’s right of free speech to try to hold the left accountable for all the scurrilous things they said.

Breitbart News put the shoe on the other foot, and now we are seeing what humorless turds there are on the left.

In the face of right-wing satire, the left get all passive-aggressive.  They get their feelings hurt and offended.  They try their usual bullying tactics to get the right to stop the return fire.  They feign fear.  They try to shut down the right of free speech of their opponents.  And when all else fails, they resort to violence.

Steve Bannon has been named as President-Elect Donald Trump’s senior political advisor.  Bannon had been the editor of Breitbart News after the unfortunate and early death of conservative commentator Andrew Breitbart.  Other people who have held similar positions as the one to which Bannon was named include Karl Rove, David Axelrod, and Valerie Jarrett.  The left are pulling their political stunts and organizing a fear campaign over the Bannon appointment in an effort to cripple Trump’s budding Administration.  They see in Bannon a formidable and tactically adroit political opponent.

Courtesy of CNN, here are some of the headlines from Breitbart News that are offered as proof of Bannon’s unfitness for office (where have we heard that before?) and reason why the left are so afraid of his appointment:

'The solution to online 'harassment' is simple: Women should log off' (Sensible advice for anyone, I’d say.)

'Bill Kristol: Republican spoiler, renegade Jew'  (Imagine if this original member of the #NeverTrump movement had been Catholic, like John Podesta, instead?  Not a problem being a renegade Catholic; and John Podesta is a fallen away Catholic BTW.)

'Trannies whine about hilarious Bruce Jenner billboard'   CNN Explains:  “A December 2015 article criticized a campaign to take down a billboard mocking Caitlyn Jenner after she went public with her transition last year. "Transsexuals have forced a company in New Zealand to take down a billboard poking fun at Bruce Jenner and his man-parts," the article said.”  (This is beautiful stuff for conservatives to make fun of because all the contradictions of political correctness are on display.)

'Birth control makes women unattractive and crazy'  CNN explains: “A December 2015 article made a case against birth control.”  Funny!

'Suck it up buttercups: Dangerous Faggot Tour returns to colleges in September'   CNN explains: “a show headlined by Breitbart tech editor Milo Yiannopoulos”  (who is openly gay BTW.)  Milo has been banned from certain college campuses because his outrageous act offends so many on the left.  This is funny!

'Hoist it high and proud: The Confederate flag proclaims a glorious heritage  CNN explains: 'Those who initiated identity politics are attempting to obliterate the Southern identity,”  (After a murderous rampage by a jackass, the left exploited this opportunity to destroy symbols of the old confederacy.)

"Would you rather your child had feminism or cancer?"  This was the headline on a story intended to publicize another campus debate featuring Breitbarts’ own Milo Yiannopoulos.

'Gay rights have made us dumber, it's time to get back in the closet'   CNN explains: “A June 2015 article by Yiannopoulos, who is openly gay, argued in favor of "forcing gays back into the closet." "I find it depressing that my fellow fags have stopped breeding," Yiannopoulos wrote.”  (I can’t but laugh at that one.)

'Science proves it: Fat-shaming works'  Now that’s funny!

"There's no hiring bias against women in tech, they just suck at interviews"  CNN explains: A July article suggested that research revealed "women might just suck at job interviews."

These headlines, once they are understood as subversive, right-wing satire, are obviously funny.  They poke fun at the shibboleths of the left, and they drive the left crazy.  That makes them even more satisfying.

On the crime of being subversive, anti-left, satirical, and above all funny as hell, I find Steve Bannon guilty as charged and sentence him to four years as Trump’s senior political advisor.

On the count of the left being a steaming pile of humorless turds, I find them guilty as charged and sentence them to four more years of Breitbart News.
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